A craziness.

I've never felt so insane in my life. Living such a monotonous life. How can I be here? Where is this place I am? I feel so... Not me. I can't live in this facade for much longer. Its broken. I can't keep the face on, its not normal for me. Right now, I'm past the point of no return. Everything has finally been put into motion. Travel, costs... Normalized. Clothes, knowledge, normalized. This place is not the place for me. I don't like being part of this crowd. Or being one of these people. Of calling people by ranks, and sirs. This paternal organization is so... Not me. I don't feel like myself here. And they are just going to label me with anxiety problems. Ill let them. Because its true, I have an immense anxiety problem. They are not wrong, just not complete. Something to excite emotion and drive something good. Well this is it. Showing them me. That I don't fit. They are the crazy ones. But they aren't crazy, they just "have their reasons".